Week Five: Down to the Wire (but it should not have been)

Now we come to one of the toughest situations a coach has to deal with.

The referee makes mistakes.

Let’s set the stage. My 7th/8th grade team came into this week 3-0, having mercy-ruled every opponent we had faced. Our opponent was also 3-0 and had mercy-ruled two of their first three teams. So this was clearly a matchup between the top two teams in the division.

And it lived up to the billing.

The game came down to the final play, a pass into the end zone that we broke up to secure a 26-25 win. We stayed undefeated. But getting there wasn’t easy.

Big Games Turn on Small Moments

Close games often come down to one or two key plays.

This one had several.

In the second quarter, on second-and-goal, we threw a comeback route to a receiver on my sideline. Great throw. Even better catch. From where I stood, he clearly got his feet down for a touchdown. The referee, positioned behind the play, ruled him out of bounds.

I disagreed.

On the very next play, we threw an interception that looked to me like it hit the ground before being secured. It was ruled an interception. Instead of seven points, we came away with nothing.

Later, in the third quarter, we had our opponent facing fourth down with a long way to go. They threw deep near midfield. My corner made what I thought was an excellent play on the ball. There was contact, but from my angle it looked incidental, with both players trying to make a play.

The referee called pass interference. I made my case.

The call stood.

Instead of getting the ball back in excellent field position, our opponent kept the drive alive and eventually scored. Frustrating?

Absolutely.

And I can almost guarantee that if you coach long enough, something similar is going to happen to you.

Remember What the Referee Is Doing

Here’s the important part. I’ve had this referee before. He’s a good official. Better than most, in fact.

And he’s still one person trying to judge a fast-moving game with 12 players on the field, all while watching boundaries, contact, flags, possession, timing, and everything else happening at once. He is going to miss things. Every referee will.

Just like every coach makes a bad call sometimes. Just like every quarterback misses a read. Just like every receiver drops a pass. Mistakes are part of the game.

Stick Up for Your Team — Then Move On

That doesn’t mean you never question a call. If I believe my team was wronged, I’m going to make my case. But there’s a line.

I want the referee to remember me as a competitive coach who will advocate for his players, but who ultimately respects the official’s authority.

Not as the coach who complains after every whistle. Because chances are, I’m going to see that referee again.

And more importantly, my players are watching everything I do.

Your Players Are Watching

This may be the biggest lesson. Kids notice how adults respond when something feels unfair. If I lose control every time a call goes against us, what am I teaching them?

I want them to see passion.

I want them to see that it’s okay to disagree.

I want them to see adults have a reasonable conversation when they see something differently.

And then I want them to see respect. Once the call is made, we move on. The message to my players is the same one I give them after a bad play:

Shake it off and win the next battle.

You cannot replay the last snap. You cannot change the referee’s call. But you can control what happens next.

Adversity Makes a Team Better

We won the game. But I think the team gained more than just another win.

For the first time this season, we were pushed for four quarters. Things didn’t always go our way. We had to play from uncomfortable situations. We had to keep our emotions under control. And we had to make one final defensive play with the game on the line.

We did it.

We won with our dignity intact, fought through adversity, and handled the first truly difficult opponent we’ve faced this season.

I’m glad we had the fight.

I’m glad we won.

And I think this team is a little better today than it was before the game started.